Itsy Bitsy Spider...

As word travels fast in this family some of you may already know this story. Last night i decided that i wanted a snack. It was about 8:00pm and Ben was in Atlantic City with some buddies from work all day and I headed into the kitchen to get a piece of pita bread. As i turned to get a plate, with pita bread in hand, a dark shadow caught my eye. Running across the floor, almost onto my bare feet, was a gigantic spider. This eight-legged monster was so big you could see it breathing, you could feel the breeze as he ran by, you could....well you get the picture...he was big. And fast. I let out a nice girly shriek encouraging Aida to come bounding in. I thought quick on my feet, like John Goodman in Arachnophobia, and grabbed the trash can and put it on top of him. To ensure his man-eating fangs would not take a liking to me before Ben returned home to play exterminator, I grabbed a cookie sheet and put it over the opening of the trash can. I then grabbed our biggest pot (cookware, not drugs) and stacked it on top of the cookie sheet, along with 4 yearbooks and a 5 pound bag of sugar. As I talked to mom about my near death experience I stood watch over the trash can convinced that the MacGyver spider would surely escape and hunt me down.

Ben returned home and read the "Huge Ass spider under trash can" note and proceeded to put on his superman cape as he offered to exterminate the beast. I warned him of the spider's stealth of foot and giant of stature. So he took off his manly cape (metaphor) and strapped on some high heels (metaphor again) meaning he put on the biggest boots and thickest gloves he could find. He apprehended the intruder and put his smooshed carcass in a snack baggy. And that is the picture you see below.

We are calling an exterminator.