Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Olive Garden Outing

Yesterday Ben and I decided to get lunch at Olive Garden. Ryan was fresh off eating his lunch so we figured we would be safe to go to a sit down restaurant. Olive Garden has these nice car seat "slings" that you can use rather than a booster seat, so with a few toys we set Ryan in there and hoped for the best.

Now I would be lying if I were to say that I never used to bristle at a screaming child in a public place; I did and so did Ben. So we have tried to be very conscience of Ryan disturbing other's meals. Ben is especially jumpy if Ryan makes so much as a peep. One time at church (Christmas eve, so Ryan was all of a month old) Ryan just started to whimper and Ben popped up and scurried Ryan outside. A little excessive.

So it was quite hilarious to see Ben at Olive Garden. Ryan was not crying or fussing at all. Instead he was literally squealing with delight. He was playing with his toys and screeching/squealing to his little heart's content. I knew people were looking but I found it adorable, a little loud yes, but adorable all the same. Ben however kept giving me the stink eye because I wasn't quieting him down. He tried several times doing the "Shhh" finger at Ryan (he's seven months old and does not understand that).

After a couple hairy eyeball glares I scooped Ryan up and held him on my lap. The curious baby stood up and reached to try and grab the man's shirt in the booth behind us. I pulled him back before he could grab the shirt so instead he began squealing and smiling at the family. He thoroughly entertained them for the duration of our meal. And he made me laugh (and Ben laugh too). He is such a happy baby. I love that boy.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Massive Wassive Spider...

The massive wassive spider
Waited til dark to come about.
Crawled up my arm,
And scared the shit right out!

Made me run out the room
For he was an unwanted guest.

So the massive wassive spider
Took a ride on the porcelain express.

There was a rather large spider (if you couldn't tell by my wonderfully written poem) in Ryan's room last night. I put Ryan to bed at his normal time and he woke up around 10:30pm. So I went in to see if he just needed his paci. I grabbed the pacifier which was covered in drool. I walked, in the dark, over to my boppy pillow and grabbed the burp cloth off of it. I walked back to the crib while I wiped off the paci and felt like I had something on my left arm. Figuring it was a hair I brushed it off with my right hand. Then I felt something on my right arm. At that point I knew it wasn't just a hair and I squealed and ran out of the room like a big ass bird. (All the while poor Ryan is crying). I flipped on his light and saw this massive black spider (not as big as the one from our basement, but big enough). It started charging me (yes, running right for me!) and the only thing I had was my bare feet (yeah, right!) and Ryan's hamper. I called to Ben to bring a shoe and stat! And meanwhile I fended the beast off with Ryan's hamper. I smashed the hamper on him and lifted it back up. El Diablo (the spider) survived the hamper. He continued to charge for me. I started picking the hamper up and smashing it like a crazy person. I felt like a performer from the traveling show, STOMP.
Ben shows up with two squares of toilet paper...my knight in shining armor (instead of riding in on a trusty steed (a shoe) he rode in on butterfly (two squares of toilet paper)).
Anyways, i lifted the the hamper and Ben hesitates after seeing the shear size of this monster but then goes in for the squishing. He misses by like a foot. Then a little game of whack the mole ensues before he finally gets the bugger. Down the toilet it goes.
I felt like I had spiders crawling on me all night. Creeped us both out, but nevertheless we survived the night.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My Poor Camera

So it seems that my trusty camera isn't so trusty anymore. I think after its last bump on the ground it has decided that it doesn't want to keep on living. Unfortunately the cost to replace my DSL sidekick would run me a lot of money that, with a baby, a new car and sinking driveway, we just don't have the spare funds.
My flash also has kicked the bucket, though I do hope to be able to repair it instead of replace that. The camera itself isn't focusing consistently, randomly has deleted pictures off the memory card before they can be transferred to the computer (really good pics might I add!), and has more recently been popping up with error messages. I think I need to play the lottery...or just save the money that I would play into the lottery....hmmm.
So sad. It has been a good run dear friend.

Friday, April 29, 2011


There have been so many memorable moments with our adorable baby boy Ryan that I can't even begin to count them all. The memories of him laughing at his daddy playing peek a boo around the doorway, or lighting the room with his toothless smile in the morning, all are equally important to us, but let's be honest, the poop stories are the best.
Many heard of the great "I put a size too large diaper on my boy and he exploded everywhere" story of last week. And this latest story is no exception in the funny category.
My day started off with a marathon run to several stores to finish gift shopping for this weekend's wedding festivities. As I unloaded my cart full of goodies to pay at Toys-R-Us I reached for my wallet. Gone. Shit....it's by the computer at home. Super. I happened to have my checkbook which the cashier graciously let me use sans driver license.
I headed over to the bank where I begged for them to cash a check without ID. Luckily since I work at another branch, they just asked a few security questions and I was on my way cash in hand.
On to the mall. Parked the car and realized that I had no stroller with me. Double shit. So I picked up my 16 and a half pound son and headed in. Now I understand 16.5 pounds isn't a lot. But toting my equally as heavy diaper bag and shopping bags I accrued proved to be a work out. Somewhere around JCPenny's Ryan decided he had had enough. Understandable. So he started crying as I shopped for ties for Ben and then proceeded to fall asleep. Deadweight. Awesome.
Keep in mind that Ryan is not much different than his Daddy. He shares the same looks and the ability to be a mobile heater. Always hot and sweaty. Thus making Mommy hot and sweaty.
Then on to Target. Luckily I kept Ryan in his car seat and placed him in a grocery cart. Sweet relief. Target went over relatively smoothly. And it was off to home.
Now comes the poop. Ben and Ryan have a sort of agreement apparently. He doesn't poop or poops very little while his Daddy is home. But when Daddy goes to work, the flood gates are open. As I sat at the computer with my baby boy on my lap to balance my checkbook (multitasking my friend) Ryan grunts and grunts a little more and proceeds to fill his diaper.
I move him to the changing table and there I find a surprise (not so much of a surprise anymore). The diaper leaked. Up the front this time, thus covering his dirty bits. So in an effort to be diaper changing savvy, I started the kitchen sink sprayer. Warmed the water up, went to get Ryan off the changing table I found him grinning from ear to ear with poop all over his hands and face. Triple shit (literally!). Ryan decided to take a sample of the poo that covered his belly and make his Momma's day even more exciting.
So I took the diaper off and ran him over to the sink. The sprayer worked wonderfully. It sprayed off the stinky mess and I gave myself a pat on the back. What a brilliant idea! I celebrated too soon. Because in my haste to spray off the brown artwork my son displayed on his hind-quarters I forgot to have anything prepared to dry off his now soaked body. As he dripped across the floor on the way back to the changing table I laid him down and grabbed the extremely faulty dirty diaper and ran it to the trash. I came back to my smiling son...never a good thing when he has his "I'm so cute you can't get mad at me" smile on. He had peed. So I sopped up the pee with paper towels, diapered his ass up, and am looking forward to making thru the rest of my day.
I'm thinking we are going to have to rework this arrangement he has going with his Daddy!