Ben returned home and read the "Huge Ass spider under trash can" note and proceeded to put on his superman cape as he offered to exterminate the beast. I warned him of the spider's stealth of foot and giant of stature. So he took off his manly cape (metaphor) and strapped on some high heels (metaphor again) meaning he put on the biggest boots and thickest gloves he could find. He apprehended the intruder and put his smooshed carcass in a snack baggy. And that is the picture you see below.
We are calling an exterminator.